Coral Gables Riviera-Times

PAGE TEN RIVIERA-TIMES FRIDAY, JUNE 27, 1947

Wise Cracks

HARD TO PLEASE For many a month old man D. bawled out his son for sleeping so late mornings. Tired of all the fuss, the son began to arise before dawn daily. On the first day of the following month, old man D. called his son aside and complained: "Can't you EVER do anything right?" "What in blazes is wrong now?" asked the boy. "You and your early risin'!" stormed the old man. "You've gone an' run up our electric bill 12 cents!" NO GORILLA He was the frail Frank Sinatra type. She was sweet and receptive but still realistic. "When I crush you in my arms like this," he whispered, "what are you thinking of?" Without hesitation she replied: "The manpower shortage." PERFECTO PUNKO The gentleman behind the desk received the stranger with a smile, bade him to be seated, and said, "Have a cigar?" "Don't mind if I do," said the visitor. And then sensing something unusual in the atmosphere, he added, "Is this a special occasion?" "I'll say it is," was the reply. "I've got an addition to the family." "Really?" said the stranger. "Congratulations!" He put a match to the cigar, puffed on it a few times, and then observed, "About the fifth child, I presume."

Test Your I. Q.

1. When did the southern states first vote solidly Democratic in a presidential election, thus becoming "the solid south"? 2. What President was taught to write by his wife? 3. What is an elver? 4. What two animals do not swim well and are quite easily drowned? 5. Where is the world's largest privately owned ranch? ANSWERS 1. In 1880, in support of Gen. Winfield Scott Hancock. 2. Andrew Johnson, at 19. 3. A baby eel. 4. Camels and monkeys. 5. Kingsville, Texas, the King Ranch, 1,250,000 acres.