Coral Gables Riviera-Times

RIVIERA-TIMES

LIST YOUR PROPERTY WITH US

NO COST TO YOU UNLESS WE SELL Frederic F. Lewis REALTOR "HOMES OF DISTINCTION" Phone 4-3139 300 Alhambra Circle

COLOR SCHEME

Answering an advertisement about a litter of kittens that would be given to anyone interested, a woman called the cat owner. "Have you one," she asked, "that is orange and black?" "Sorry," said the other woman. "None of that color." "Oh, dear, that's a shame," said the caller. "You see, we've just had our house redecorated, and only orange and black would match the color scheme."

SOMEBODY SAFE

When Smith walked into his friend's office he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hello, old man!" said Smith. "What's up?" "Oh, just my wife," replied the other sadly. "She's engaged a new secretary for me." "Well, there's nothing wrong about that. Is she blonde or a brunette?" "He's bald."

PLACE YOUR ORDER NOW FOR ROSES

MANGUS LANDSCAPE NURSERY Phones 4-4833 - 4-4898 2703 LeJeune Road, Coral Gables

SLAP STICK

Test Your I. Q.

1. What sort of record is made to identify dogs? 2. Where do we get the term "hermetically sealed"? 3. Is there any relation between an animal's intelligence and the amount of sleep it requires? 4. What is the record daily double payoff in horse racing? 5. What animals will eat as long as food is before them? ANSWERS TO YOUR I. Q. 1. Nose prints. Pedigreed dogs are often registered in this manner. 2. From the ancient alchemists, who placed the "Seal of Hermes," god of arts and sciences, on their vessels. Hermetically sealed means sealed by fusion. 3. Studies indicate that the greater their mental capacities, the more sleep they require. 4. $10,772.40, Washington Park in August 1939. 5. Guinea pigs. They will feed continuously as long as food is offered.

WEEKLY CROSSWORD PUZZLE

HORIZONTAL 1 Depicted plane, Martin B-26A "---" 8 It is a --- 13 Dined 14 Identical 15 Mineral rock 16 "Old Dominion State" (abbr.) 17 Wander 19 Chief 20 Us 21 Writing tool 22 Sovereign 24 Perusing 26 Hawaiian wreath 27 Sturdy 28 Trial 31 Tiny (colloq.) 33 Pieced out 37 Court 38 Scrap of cloth 39 Anger 40 Formerly 42 Uncovered 43 Boil slowly 45 Blessedness 47 Bustle 49 Refuse 52 Burn slowly 24 It has a --- of many hundred miles 25 Stain 27 Perceives by ear 28 It has --- motors 29 Eternity 30 Society (abbr.) 32 Rub out 34 Small tub 35 Before 36 Moisture 41 Decline 42 Fanatics 43 Water barrier 44 Sun 46 Fastened with lace 48 Perform 49 It is armed with many 50 Pertaining to ashes 51 International language 52 Halt 55 Snake 57 Proceed VERTICAL 1 Female horse 2 Particle 3 Harvest 4 We 5 Bandit of India 6 Arabian chieftain 7 Crimson 8 Farm 9 Mountain nymph 10 Myself 11 Level 12 Pealed 18 Dissolve 21 3.1416 23 Music note 53 United Service Organizations (abbr.) 54 Company (abbr.) 55 Near 56 New Hampshire (abbr.) 57 Obtain 58 Therefore 59 Church councils 60 Parcel Post (abbr.) Answer to Previous Puzzle: VAN HEFLIN TODD | IDO ENROBE RIPE | NODS SO IT AMEN | ENEMY SMASHED NY | UR ERE | WINGS VAN RARELY | OCAS EEFLIN WOE | NEGUS REFINE SPEETS | TO OIL | ST TYRO T GAMMA | TOTE ON OH NEAR | ALAR STOLEN ELM | RAGS YOGURT DEN

TILLERS

AHH! THAT WAS A GOOD SUPPER, MAW! THANKS FOR THOSE KIND WORDS, SIR! THE ONLY TROUBLE WITH A BIG MEAL IS I GET SO SLEEPY AFTERWARDS WHAT ARE YOU DOING, PAW? I'M TOSSING A QUARTER TO DECIDE IF I'LL TAKE A NAP OR TAKE UP YOUR TULIP BULBS! AT LEAST SHE COULD HAVE GIVEN BACK MY QUARTER

REAL FORESIGHT

Ezzy Handley was the laziest man in the village and whenever his long-suffering wife could induce him to lift his hand in labor, the task was certain to be done in the easiest, sloppiest and most ineffectual manner possible. Imagine the surprise of Ezzy's neighbors therefor when, being induced to build an enclosure around his miserable home, he proceeded to construct a fence of the unusual dimensions of four feet high and six feet wide! "What's the idea of the extra thick fence, Ezzy?" a neighbor inquired. "Oh, that's to save the trouble of making repairs later on," Ezzy explained. "You see, when it falls over it will be still higher than it is now!"

PEGGY

LOOK AT THE MOB WAITING FOR THE BUS! THAT'S THE WORST PART OF FOOTBALL GAMES HEY, LOOK! THERE'S PEGGY AND BILL! LET'S GET ROOM? PICK 'EM UP OF COURSE WE WON STRONG MAN, OH MAN! I'M SURE IS THAT BUS GLAD YOU LOADED GAVE US A LIFT AND WE DON'T HAVE TO RIDE IN THAT THING! I HATE CROWDS! WE WON AGAIN STRONGSVILLE NEW

STRIKING BEAUTY

"Where did you get the black eye?" "I went to a dance hall last night and was struck by the beauty of the place."

NONE SINCE

Having enjoyed the previous summer at a farm in the country, Lawyer Jones wrote to the farmer, requesting the same accommodations for the month of August. "But," he added in his letter, "I wish you'd move that pig-pen. It was right under my window last year and was most obnoxious." Jones received the farmer's reply, assuring him of the same accommodations, and added this explanation: "As to that there pig-pen, don't let that worry you. We ain't had no hogs on this farm since you left last summer."

CONSCIENTIOUS CANINE By Paulson

"First mutt I've seen that wouldn't collaborate in a little innocent, out-of-season hunting!"

MUTT AND JEFF By Bud Fisher

MAMA, WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE A PENT-HOUSE ON PARK AVENUE OR A COUNTRY ESTATE? EITHER WOULD BE NICE, WHY? WOULD YOU LIKE A NEW CAR WITH A CHAUFFEUR? I WOULD! HOW ABOUT YOUR OWN AIRPLANE? WHAT IS THIS? THEY'RE SOME OF THE THINGS I'M GONNA BUY YOU WHEN I GET RICH--- A WONDERFUL MOM LIKE YOU! CICERO, YOU WONDERFUL BOY, WANTING TO GIVE ME ALL THOSE THINGS--- HECK, THAT'S NOTHIN', MOM--- YOU GIVE ME THINGS WHEN YOU CAN--- LIKE ER--- MONEY FOR THE MOVIES--- THANKS, MA! S'LONG! JUST LIKE HIS FATHER!

THE JACKPOT QUESTION

It was the day appointed by the Rev. Duncan McGregor for catechising some of his congregation, but, unfortunately, the good clergyman had received an invitation to dinner for the same day and, forgetting his previous engagement, had accepted it. Just as the minister was mounting his gig to depart, he perceived the first of his class' entering his garden, and the remainder coming over the fair Scottish hill. He was instantly aware of the mistake he had made, but his ready wit soon came to his assistance. "What have you come for, Jock?" he asked, addressing the first comer. "An' dee ye no' remember, sir, ye bade us come to be catecheezed?" "Oh, ay; weel, no' to keep ye going further, Jock, was it a horned coo or a hemmel that Noah took into the ark?" "Deed, sir, I canna tell," "Well, turn back and ask the ither folk the same question; and if they canna answer it, bid them go home and find oot." And with that the Rev. Duncan McGregor drove away to his dinner.

SEVEN YEARS BAD LUCK

The recruit turned to his neighbor and remarked: "I say, Bill, have you got a good memory for faces?" "Yes," replied Bill, from behind his towel. "Well, see if you can remember your own when you shave it. I've just broken your mirror."

REG'LAR FELLERS By Gene Byrnes

PSSST! WOULD YOU HELP YOUR VERY OWN BROTHER OUT OF A JAM? OF COURST! AN' KEEP IT STRICTLY UNDER TH' SHEETS? MUM IS TH' WORD! OKAY, BUTCH--- COME OUT TO TH' BACK OF TH' GARAGE WHERE WE KIN OPERATE! OKAY! LET'S SEE YOU GET ME OUTA THIS JAM WITHOUT BUSTIN' TH' JAR!

BACK HOME AGAIN By Ed Dodd

AW, HECK, ANYBODY KIN DO IT WITH A LITTLE PRACTICE! EDNA Bob Cole SHOWING 'EM HOW TO SPIN THE WEDDING RING'AFTER THE WILD WEST SHOW LEFT TOWN!

SWEET DREAMS

A little old lady in her seventies went to a doctor. She expounded all her ailments, real and imaginary, but seemed most concerned about a recurring dream in which she was diligently pursued by a personable young man who wanted to flirt with her. The doctor was sympathetic, and advised her how she might sleep more soundly. In a few days she returned, still tearful. "Don't tell me you aren't sleeping better nowadays," said the doctor. "Oh, I'm sleeping fine," the patient replied, "but to tell the truth, I certainly miss that young man!"

GRAMMAR LESSON

Son---Pa, what is the difference between a cat and a comma? Pa---I don't know, what is it? Son---A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

JITTER By Arthur Pointer

A WAY OUT

Patricia telephoned Phyllis' mother and asked if Phyllis might come to see her. The mother explained: "No. Phyllis didn't come home on time, as she promised yesterday. She should be punished. So she must stay . . ." Patricia quickly interrupted: "Oh! Just spank her and send her down."

FUSSY SORT

A traveler in the Dogpatch country stayed overnight in a backwoods dwelling. The next morning he spent some time on the back porch with a basin of water, a razor, soap, comb, brush and so on. A small boy watched wide-eyed the procedure and finally said, "Gosh, mister, are ye always that much trouble to yer-self?"

LITTLE REGGIE By Margarita

REGGIE, WHAT IS THAT CROWD DOING DOWN THE STREET? OH---AN ORGAN GRINDER LOST HIS MONKEY! TSK, TSK, WHAT A SHAME!

INKLINGS By Jarvis

"Him? Oh, he's near-sighted!"

LOTS LIKE HIM

"Mother goes to the Lutheran church," said a youngster to a new friend. "What denomination is your daddy?" "I don't zackly know what daddy is," admitted the boy. "He don't go to church with mother. Aunt Mabel says he must be a Seven Day Absentist."

SILENT SAM By Jeff Hayes

SAM IZ A DOPE E-R-M-A-C SAM IZ A BIG DOPE

Boxing Quote

Trainer---Well, old man, I'm afraid you're licked now. Boxer (gazing dizzily)---Yes, I guess you're right. I should have got him in the first round when he was alone.

SOUNDED THAT WAY

Mary was sent down to the office to get her aunt's weekly pay. On the way home a robber stuck her up and took the money. She ran up to a policeman and said, "Oh, officer, a robber just stole my aunt's pay!" "Well, miss, if you'd stop talking pig latin, maybe I could help you!" irritably replied the officer.

COVERING UP

Young son---Dad, why do you always sign my report card with an X instead of writing your name? Father---I don't want your teacher to think that anyone who can read and write would have a son as dumb as you.

VIRGIL By Len Kleis

I'M SICK OF BEING A LITTLE KID--BUILT CLOSE TO TH' GROUND LIKE A WORM AH! THIS IS TH'LIFE! WALKING WITH MY HEAD IN TH' CLOUDS! OH BOY! A NICKEL CAPTAIN ARRIVES FOR FOOTBALL PRACTICE, SHOUTING 'LET'S GO, GANG' DELAY OCCURS BECAUSE OF NO FOOTBALL; EVERYBODY THINKING SOMEONE ELSE WOULD BRING ONE FOOTBALL PROCURED, TIME IS SPENT SHOUTING FOR BUD BEANS WHO HAS DISAPPEARED BUD SHOWS UP AT LAST WITH HIS NEW AIRPLANE WHICH EVERYONE WANTS TO FLY, CAPTAIN INSISTING ON FIRST TURN CAPTAIN GETS THEM BACK TO FOOTBALL AT LAST, EXCEPT FOR TWO WHO ARE BUSY WRESTLING WHICH AFTER ARGUING THEM BACK INTO PLAY, LEAVES JUST ENOUGH TIME TO CALL PRACTICE FOR TOMORROW