Coral Gables Riviera-Times

PAGE TEN RIVIERA-TIMES FRIDAY, AUGUST 22, 1947

LAFF LINES

TOO TEMPTING Raids on the lobster pots of Maine fishermen reached such proportions in 1928 that a vigilance committee was formed against the sea-borne thugs who disposed of their plunder at fancy prices. One key man in this committee was a grizzled, gigantic skipper, Captain Abidiah Grubb. One evening he spotted three sleek power launches moving seaward from a hidden inlet. Grubb noted the time and direction and prepared to report them. But a man in a business suit had been watching, too; now he approached the skipper. "Would $5,000 help you forget you saw 'em?" Grubb turned away, his jaw muscles knotting. "How about $10,000?" persisted the man. The skipper turned to stare him down with the cold blue eyes of Maine. The man sighed impatiently. "Well, $20,000?" Just then the little steamer was passing a low headland. Without a word, the giant picked up the purse-proud tempter by the collar. "What'd you do that for, sir?" asked the helmsman. "Heck!" growled Grubb, "he was gettin' too near my price!" TWO 'FIRSTS' The young husband had just arrived home form the office. "How's the darling daylight?" he asked his wife. "You look flustered." "Oh, I've had a dreadful day," she replied. "Baby cut his first tooth and then he fell and knocked it out." "Well, and then what happened?" "Oh, darling," she answered in a shocked voice, "he said his FIRST word." DARK JOURNEY A missionary, newly arrived at the cannibal island, asked where his predecessor was. "Your predecessor," replied the cannibal chief, "has taken a trip to the interior." BAKERY TALK We've heard that college-bred means a four-year loaf made with dad's dough. Some crust, eh?

Test Your I. Q.

1. At what age does the human foot reach maturity? 2. How many distinct kinds of orchids are there? 3. What is the scientific distinction of Lake Nicaragua, hundred-mile-long lake in Nicaragua? 4. Do invertebrates have a sense of smell? 5. Where was the nation's first savings bank chartered? ANSWERS 1. Twenty. 2. About 400, but the species turns out blooms of an estimated 15,000 different types. 3. It is the only freshwater lake in the world containing saltwater fish that have adapted the growth, sharks weighing 200 have been caught in it. 4. Yes, but their sensory cells are distributed over areas of the body. 5. In Boston in 1816, the Provident Institution for Savings.

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A business man had passed away, and his widow was inconsolable. She cried for three days. Then a life insurance representative appeared to help her complete a claim. She stole a look at the amount—$50,000—sighed, and with a tear glistening in each eye, she said soulfully, "You may not believe it, but I'd give $20,000 of this to have him back!"

READY AND EAGER

At a revival meeting a lowly, earnest sister was giving the story of her conversion. "Friends," she said, "before this great change came over me, I felt so mean and hateful toward my uncle, that if he had died, I wouldn't have attended his funeral. But now that I am so greatly changed I am willing to attend his funeral at any time."

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WEEKLY CROSSWORD PUZZLE

HORIZONTAL 1 Pictured American Philosopher, Ralph Waldo — 7 Cheap, showy Playthings 13 Twice 14 Single 15 Snake 16 Dine 17 Finest 19 Relates 21 Urn 22 Mollusk 24 River barrier 25 Set again 26 12 months 28 Cutting tool 29 Belongs to him 31 Proceed 32 Sorrowful 35 Any 36 Symbol for cobalt 37 Firmament 39 Sun god 41 Writing implement 42 Paradise 44 Also 46 Book of maps 48 Cartograph 51 Change 54 Make a sale 55 Philistine god (Bib.) 57 Venture 58 Compass point 59 Evergreen 60 Even (contr.) 62 Be seated 63 Speech 64 Educates VERTICAL 1 Recedes 2 Behavior 3 He has written many famous — 4 Therefore 5 Ontario (abbr.) 6 Require 7 Saive 8 Donkey 9 Upward 10 Rents 11 Facility 12 Let it stand 18 Bind 20 Music note 21 Irritate 23 Fall behind 25 Beam of light 27 Native of Rome 29 Possesses 30 Writing fluid 33 High card 34 Put on 38 Shouted 39 Thing (law) 40 Greek letter 41 Alkaline compound 43 Split pulse 45 Ancient 46 On the ocean 47 Take care of 48 Planet 49 Silver (symbol) 50 He was an early American — 52 Great Lake 53 Soaps flax 56 Separation (prefix) 57 Born 60 Iron (symbol) 62 Symbol for sodium Answer to Previous Puzzle: WASHINGTON BARS AGRA DO VAO TEA TRIAD BEAD READ ELS ORE SAD SO RELEASE NIT COL APE TOP PONE PELT COT ERRS OILS BOY COY ALL SEI TON FLUE EMOA GEORGE DAISY BIRTH OGRE TONEE WASHINGTON MEED FATHER

WHAT'S WRONG, MR. TILLER? YOU LOOK MAD ABOUT SOMETHING! IT'S WOMEN! THEY'RE THE MOST UN-REASONABLE CREATURES THERE ARE! LAST NIGHT MAW AND ME WENT TO A MOVIE, AND BE-FORE WE WENT, I SET THE BATHROOM SCALES TEN POUNDS HIGH SO SHE WOULDN'T WANT A SUNDAE AFTERWARD! AND SHE LEARNED YOU TINKERED WITH THE SCALES? NO, SHE THOUGHT SHE HAD GAINED TEN POUNDS, ALL RIGHT BUT SHE DECIDED DIETING WASN'T DOING ANY GOOD AND SHE MIGHT AS WELL ENJOY LIFE! SO SHE ORDERED ONE OF THOSE WHOPPER, DOPPER, DOLLAR SUNDAES! OH, ME! WE'RE IN FOR IT NOW! JUST LEAVE IT TO MOM AND ME-WHEN SHE GOT STOPPED WE TURNED ON THE CHARM AND GOT OUT OF IT OFFICER, I'M SURE MY HUSBAND DIDN'T REALIZE HIS SPEED-BUT YOU HAVE SUCH SUPERB HIGHWAYS! YEAH! A BIG HAND-SOME POLICEMAN LIKE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT! HMMM-THESE CHARMING LADIES YOUR WIFE AND DAUGHTER, HUH? Y-YES,SIR! THERE AREN'T ENOUGH BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD FOR YOU TO RISK THEIR NECKS! YOU SHOULD BE TOSSED INTO A DUNGEON!

LEGAL NOTICE

CALL FOR BIDS FOR WORK BY THE CITY OF CORAL GABLES, FLORIDA. Notice is hereby given that the City of Coral Gables, Florida, that sealed bids will be received by the Commission of such city in the Commission chambers at the City Hall in Coral Gables, Florida, at 8 o'clock, P. M., until the sixteenth day of September, A. D. 1947, and then publicly opened, for the performance of the following work: Improvement A-4, Paving the following street in Coral Gables, Florida, with a 6-inch compacted lime rock base, primed with approved oil, and covered with sand finished, to a width of 20 ft. In accordance with the plans and specifications of such improvement on file at the office of the City Clerk, City Hall, Coral Gables, Florida. Proposals must be submitted in sealed envelopes addressed to City Manager, City of Coral Gables, Florida, plainly marked on the outside "Sealed Proposals to be Opened on the September 16, 1947 at 8 o'clock, P. M." Each proposal must be accompanied by cash, or a certified check to insure the execution of a contract and the filing of a performance bond, all bids submitted must be accompanied by a certified or cashier's check or bid bond with corporate surety satisfactory to the city attorney, in the amount of two and one-half percent (2 1/2%) of the total amount of said bid, payable to the City of Coral Gables. In the event of rejection of any bid, the accompanying check or bid bond will be returned. In the event of the acceptance of any bid and the approval thereof by the City Commission, the contract shall be executed by the City Manager, City Clerk and the Contractor, and each the filing by the Contractor of a satisfactory Performance Bond for one hundred percent (100%) of the total amount of the work contracted for. Payments on any contract executed shall be in cash on monthly estimates by City Manager to Contractor, of ninety percent (90%) of such estimates, and the balance due shall be paid in cash within sixty (60) days after acceptance of work. The city reserves the right to reject any or all bids, or any portion of any bid. THE CITY OF CORAL GABLES, FLORIDA E. B. POORMAN, City Clerk August 22, 1947.

MUTT AND JEFF By Bud Fisher

MUTT, DO YOU KNOW WE'VE BEEN PALS A LONG LONG TIME! YEP! WE'RE TOGETHER AT LEAST THIRTY-FIVE YEARS! -AND DO YOU KNOW WHY WE ALWAYS GOT ALONG SO GOOD TOGETHER? WHY? BECAUSE WE ARE INTELLECTUAL OPPOSITES! WHAT CHA MEAN? WELL-I'M INTELLECTUAL AND YOU'RE JUST THE OPPOSITE! ? -SEE WHAT I MEAN?

NANCY By Ernie Bushmiller

I THINK I'LL TRY AUNT FRITZI'S LIPSTICK OH--! I GOT THE RIGHT SIDE HIGHER THAN THE LEFT NOW THE LEFT SIDE IS HIGHER THAN THE RIGHT MAYBE THE LOWER LIP SHOULD BE BIGGER NOW THE UPPER LIP IS TOO SMALL HELLO, SLUGGO

HOME-TOWN ECHOES By C. Kessler

WILLIE IRVIN! WHY ISN'T HE IN SCHOOL? HOOP, BOOP! WHERE'S TH' FIRE ? NEVER WILL AMOUNT TO A HILL O' BEANS! WILLIAM A. IRVIN, DIRECTOR OF THE U. S. STEEL CORPORATION, WAS ONCE A WESTERN UNION MESSENGER IN A MILLTOWN, BACK IN INDIANA, PA.

LITTLE REGGIE By Margarita

YOU MUST PRACTICE AT LEAST TWO HOURS! I HAVE AN EAR FOR FINE MUSIC... WHO IS PLAYING? REGGIE! HE'S IMPROVING. WHY HE'S MARVELLOUS! I SIMPLY MUST SEE HIM! SQUEAK SQUEEK

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LEGAL NOTICE

Notice is hereby given that on August 19, 1947, the Commission of the City of Coral Gables, Florida, adopted an ordinance, title of which is as follows: ORDINANCE NO. 538 AN ORDINANCE CHANGING THE NAME OF AVENUE COLOMA TO S. W. 40TH STREET; DECLARING THIS TO BE AN EMERGENCY ORDINANCE. E. B. POORMAN, City Clerk THE CITY OF CORAL GABLES, FLORIDA August 22, 1947.

REG'LAR FELLERS By Gene Byrnes

WHATCHA GOT THERE? LOLLIPOPS? YEP-- TWO BAGS OF 'EM! WHATCHA DOIN' WITH TWO DOZEN-- GONNA OPEN A STORE? NOPE! JEST A LITTLE HOARDIN' Y'MIGHT SAY! WITH ALL THIS BUILDIN' GOIN' ON THERE MIGHT BE A LUMBER SHORTAGE AN' Y'WON'T BE ABLE TO GET LOLLIPOPS FOR LOVE OR MONEY!

LEGAL NOTICE

All interested persons are hereby notified that the Commission of the City of Coral Gables, at a regular meeting to be held Tuesday, September 2, 1947, at 8:00 o'clock P. M., in the Commission Chamber of the City Hall, will consider a proposal to change the names of the following streets: (1) UNIVERSITY DRIVE between the Ponce de Leon Boulevard and the westerly city limits (2) PONCE DE LEON BOULEVARD, south of U. S. Highway No. 1 only (3) ALHAMBRA CIRCLE, south of U. S. Highway No. 1 only. E. B. POORMAN, City Clerk. THE CITY OF CORAL GABLES, FLORIDA August 22, 1947.

Ticklers By George

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JITTER By Arthur Pointer

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LEGAL NOTICE

Notice is hereby given that on August 19, 1947, the Commission of the City of Coral Gables, Florida, adopted an ordinance, title of which is as follows: ORDINANCE NO. 539 AN ORDINANCE OF THE CITY OF CORAL GABLES, FLORIDA, PROHIBITING THE SALE OF ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES AND WINES, BEER OR ALE, TO OR IN THE PRESENCE OF MINORS; PROHIBITING EMPLOYMENT OF MINORS TO WORK IN OR SERVE SUCH BEVERAGE TO PATRONS IN PLACES SELLING WINES, BEER OR BEVERAGES CONTAINING ALCOHOL REGARDLESS OF ALCOHOLIC PERCENTAGE; PROHIBITING UNACCOMPANIED BY PARENT OR GUARDIAN, TO PERMIT A MINOR TO SERVE OR HANDLE BEER OR WINE ON OR OFF PREMISES; PROHIBITING MINORS FROM ENTERING PREMISES WHERE SOLD; FOR ANY MINOR TO PURCHASE OR ATTEMPT TO PURCHASE INTOXICATING BEVERAGES; FOR ANY MINOR TO MISREPRESENT HIS OR HER AGE FOR THE PURPOSE OF SECURING INTOXICATING BEVERAGES TO BE SERVED TO HIM OR HER OF INTOXICATING BEVERAGES; FOR ANY MANAGER OR PARENT OR A MINOR KNOWINGLY TO PERMIT SUCH MINOR TO VIOLATE THE TERMS AND PROVISIONS OF THIS ORDINANCE; HOLDING OWNER, MANAGER, PROPRIETOR, OR PERSON IN CHARGE OF PREMISES STRICTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR STRICT COMPLIANCE; CONTAINING SEPARABILITY CLAUSE; REPEALING ALL LAWS AND PARTS OF LAWS THAT CONFLICT HEREWITH; REPEALING ORDINANCES; DECLARING THIS TO BE AN EMERGENCY ORDINANCE. E. B. POORMAN, City Clerk THE CITY OF CORAL GABLES, FLORIDA August 22, 1947.

VIRGIL By Len Kleis

HOW ABOUT LETTIN' ME SERVE DINNER TONIGHT, POP? THAT WOULD BE VERY NICE LET'S SEE-POP'LL WANT MASHED POTATOES, A CHICKEN LEG, LETTUCE, PEAS AND A PICKLED PEACH WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE ME ARRANGE YOUR FOOD IN AN ARTISTIC MANNER? IF YOU LIKE,

OVERDOSE

A professor at medical school asked a student how much of a certain drug should be administered to a patient and the young man replied, "Five grains." A minute later he raised his hand, "Professor," he said, "I would like to change my answer to that question." The professor looked at his watch and replied, "Never mind, young man, your patient has been dead for 40 seconds."

HEAVY DOUGH

Three small boys were bragging about the prowess of their dads. The first boy said: "My dad writes a few short lines, calls it a poem, sends it away and gets $10 for it." "My dad," spoke the second lad, "makes some dots on a piece of paper, calls it a song, sends it away and gets $20 for it." "That's nothing," spoke up the third, "my father writes out a sermon on a sheet of paper, gets up in the pulpit and reads it, and it takes four men to bring in it money."

SILENT SAM By Jeff Hayes

MOOO HELPM