The Times

Saturday, May 15, 1976, page 13 (of 26)

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The Parent Game: How do you measure up?

Problem: You discover that your son or daughter is using drugs. How you handle this situation may be the most important test ever to confront your parenthood. "When a mother finds drug paraphernalia in her youngster's room . . . some drug authorities recommend that she call the police. But a psychiatrist, experienced in treating drug problems, says that calling the police often creates a problem of distrust between parent and child." What do you do, when you open your son's dresser drawer and find tucked under his shirts, a hypodermic syringe, some empty glassine wrappers with a residue of white powder? What do you do when you accidentally knock your daughter's purse to the floor and its contents spill out, revealing some odd looking capsules or a bottle of small green pills? It's a shocking, traumatic experience. And how you react may make all the difference between answering your child's unspoken cry for help . . . or closing the door on him forever. Keep your cool. Don't panic. Don't over-react. This is a sampling of the advice given by people experienced in dealing with the problem. A professor of Christian Ethics at a southern theological seminary, advises parents who stumble on evidence that his or her child is on drugs, to "call a physician" instead of the police. A staff psychologist says, "Calling the police could only worsen an already strained parent-child relationship and reduce the parent's effectiveness in helping the child." Many parents refuse to believe what they see. Because they trust their child, they try to rationalize the evidence before them. "It's not his . . . he's holding it for someone else." Others see it as proof of their worst suspicions . . . supporting nagging accusations they have been making for months. A university professor says, "The victims of drugs need to be heard, not harangued. And scare tactics won't work either." What then can a parent do? Calling in the family physician or a spiritual advisor is recommended . . . or any of the numbers listed elsewhere in this presentation. These people and social agencies can help to open communication, diagnose the nature and intensity of the problem, and see that the drug victim gets the kind of professional help he requires. They can prescribe and treat parents also, hopefully bring parent and child together in a mutually trusting relationship that recognizes the dignity and worth of each. A southern educator pointed out motivations for drug users in today's society. A desire to escape from unpleasant realities, a low self-image, a search for self-identity or quasi-religious experience, a desire for thrills or to conform to one's peers, rebellion against parental and other authority or just plain curiosity. Even the beat of today's music holds out many invitations to join the drug scene. The drug culture has been popularized by the rock stars, whose songs speak the language of drugs. Such as The Beatles': "I Get High With a Little Help From My Friends," and "Crystal Ship," a number recorded by The Doors and referring to the white crystals of drugs and "The Horse Without a Name" (horse for heroin) are a few. The kids who respond to this, or any other invitation to enter the drug culture, are kids who already have problems. They are kids, frustrated and disillusioned kids, who see the hypocrisy by parents who turn to alcohol and pills and other escapes while condemning drugs. The kids feel that the parents have their own habits to kick . . . and hangups they can't solve without resorting to some mind-diverting practice. So, mother and dad, should you find what appears to be evidence of drug usage in your child's room or among his belongings . . . play it cool. Get professional help. Give lots of love, patience and understanding to the problem . . . and examine your own habits and behavior to see if you aren't addicted to something. It could be something which you may even consider harmless . . . such as addiction to watching TV, or compulsive talking on the telephone. Get help from your clergy, your doctor or the social agencies listed in this presentation. CALL THESE NUMBERS FOR PROFESSIONAL HELP WITH DRUG PROBLEMS: SWITCHBOARD OF MIAMI......... 576-6161 CENTRAL INTAKE........................638-6540 (Diagnostic and referral)

THIS EDUCATIONAL ENDEAVOR IS MADE POSSIBLE BY THE COOPERATION OF THE FOLLOWING CONCERNED PUBLIC-SPIRITED CITIZENS WHO ARE STRIVING TO MAKE OUR COMMUNITY A BETTER PLACE IN WHICH TO LIVE.

COPYRIGHT 1976 KEY NEWSPAPER COMMUNITY SERVICE PROGRAMMING THIS EDUCATIONAL ENDEAVOR IS MADE POSSIBLE BY THE COOPERATION OF THE FOLLOWING CONCERNED PUBLIC-SPIRITED CITIZENS WHO ARE STRIVING TO MAKE OUR COMMUNITY A BETTER PLACE IN WHICH TO LIVE. ALLAN R. ABESS, JR., Pres. City Nat'l Bank of Coral Gables | JOHN C. BROCKWAY, Pres. Bill Ussery Motors, Inc. | M.H. FARNSWORTH, Chairman International Corporate Services Ltd. | ROBERT G. KNIGHT, Mayor City of Coral Gables | FELIPE MORENO, Manager Distributor Sales Latin American Operation Ingersoll-Rand International | GERALD I. ROSE, Pres. Security Federal S & L Association | JULIO ABISLAIMAN, Vice Pres. Riviera Jewelers | GLEN ALLEN RUFF | MAJOR GENERAL SALVADOR E. FELICES President & Chief Executive Officer Fidelity National Bank of South Miami | A. NORMAN KOPPEN, Pres. Viking Travel, Inc. | CLIFFORD J. NAGEL, JR., Pres. The Witters Construction Co. So. Fla. Chapter Assoc. Gen'l Contractors | ROBERT L. SEARLE, Pres. Searle & Morris Insurance | E. CARR SMITH | CARLOS J. ARBOLEYA, Pres. Barnett Bank at Westchester N.A. | GUY C. CARMICHAEL, JR., Pres. Crow, Pope & Land of Florida, Inc. | GENERAL WATERWORKS South Florida Division | MARIAN KRUTULIS, Director Gulliver Academy, Inc. | DAVID C. NEALE, Div. Manager 7-Eleven Stores Division of the Southland Corporation | ROBERT ULLMAN, Pres. Bemi Blanks Men's Store Miracle Mile Merchants Association | RICHARD D. SWETONIC, Pres., Wallace's/Dick Richmond | G. HERNANDEZ-CARTAYA Chairman of the Board WFC Group | WOLF HANAU, President Les Jardins Restaurant | MR. PETE LATA The Masked Restaurant | FRANK H. POE, Pres. Poe's Hardware & Rent Alls | NATHAN TARTAK, R.P. Riviera Pharmacy | WILLIAM BAGWELL, Pres. Miami Safe and Lock Inc. | C. DeWITT COFFMAN, Pres. The Coffman Corporation Hotel Consultants | JULIO C. IGLESIAS Consultant | TIMOTHY F. LONG Sweden House Restaurants | RONALD R. READER C.L.U. General Agent Mass. Mutual Life Ins. Co. | SOUTH DIXIE DISCOUNT CENTER 8865 South Dixie Highway | RICHARD D. THOMAS, Administrator Coral Gables Hospital | PETER I. BERMONT Vice Pres. & Res. Mgr. Drexel Burnham & Co. | MARVIN S. CONE, Director Deerborne School | RALPH JENSEN, Pres. Continental Travel, Inc. | RAUL P. MASVIDAL, Pres. Royal Trust Bank of Miami, N.A. | RAYMOND J. REICHLING, M.D. | L. GERALD WRIGHT Chairman of the Board Chief Executive Officer Aristar Management Inc. | CURTIS BLANK Co-owner Cafe Chauveron, Inc. | JAMES E. DOWNS, Pres., Tenner & Klein Jewelers, Inc. | M. "DICK" JONES, Pres. Catalina Aquatech Pools, Inc. | GARY A. MATTHEWS, Pres. Gary's Paint & Body Shop, Inc. | FRANK H. WIRTZ, Gen'l. Mgr. The Rusty Pelican | NORMAN BRAMAN, Pres. Braman Cadillac | HOWARD R. DOWNES Chairman of the Board The Dominion Companies | KENNETH F. KAMBERG, Pres. Coral Gables Fed. Savings & Loan Assoc.