Coral Gables Historical Archive
The Coral Gables Times
Thursday, May 3, 1962, page 69 (of 73)
The page
The text of this pageRead by computer from the scan, so some words may be wrong. The page picture is the original.
WISS CUTS BEST
"Professional" Grass Shears #5600. Hardened, tempered and ground to keenness of Tailors' Shears, $3.25. Also available with grips, $3.50 wherever fine garden tools are sold. J. WISS & SONS CO., NEWARK 7, N. J.
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a teen-aged sister into not winning the race to a ringing telephone. The phone rings. The husband ignores it; the wife gestures helplessly; the teen-ager breaks like a Kentucky Derby entry and gallops for it. But it's the five-year-old who gets there. At the sound of the bell she utters a shrill, tearful "Me! Me!" This strategy never fails. Most intriguing of all are the cryptic reports you get from a five-year-old after her telephone conversations: "I told the man to send us lots of 'cyclopedaes." Or: "Don't worry, I told him you got all hanged over and don't want to talk to nobody." Or: "What's a finance company?" Or: "I asked some more people to my party." Also, you can learn some interesting things from the five-year-olds who answer your calls. You get candid reports on: Domestic Relations: "I think Mommy is going to fuss at Daddy some more." Job Progress: "We got gin 'cause Daddy's boss is gonna eat supper wif us." Tragedy: "I lost my dolly's ring in the potty." Drama: "Mommy and Phyllis are both crying 'cause Phyllis wants high heels." Finance: "We are awful poor since Daddy got new golf clubs." Medicine: "I got a rash on my bottom." When you ask a five-year-old, "What's new?" she tells you. It's refreshing. And you have to give a five-year-old credit for one rare telephone virtue — she knows how to end a conversation. There are no awkward, hesitant attempts to get off the line. She brings things to a halt cleanly and briskly: "Good-bye. I got to throw up now." 43
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